Change the Conversation this #TimeToTalk day! Mindful Talking Tips to Reduce Stigma in the Workplace
Living with any mental health condition can be tough – and
it’s something at least 1 in 4 of us will do over our lifespan.
February 6th is Time to Talk Day.
This year the organisers want to get more people than ever talking to eachother about mental health.
There is growing awareness that the mental health conversation can't be a one way event, initiated by the individual having a hard time. If things are ever going to change to destigmatise our human struggles, everyone needs to commit to engaging with the uncertainty and discomfort of leaning into talking openly about human distress.
When it comes to mental health in the workplace, stigma and silence can be particularly problematic. Nearly nine out of ten people in Ireland experiencing a mental health problem say they have experienced stigma and discrimination in the workplace as a result of their difficulties.
This is hardly surprising, given that half of people in Dublin admit that they wouldn’t want to work with someone with a mental health difficulty. Alarmingly, in the UK, research by Mind revealed 1 in 5 had lost jobs as a result of disclosing difficulties
It’s Time to Talk –
About Stigma
Stigma is a mark or stain against someone’s reputation that
arises because of some experience they have that sets them apart from others
around them.
See Change Ireland identifies three ways in which mental health stigma can contribute to communication challenges and communication breakdown among families, friends and in workplaces:
See Change Ireland identifies three ways in which mental health stigma can contribute to communication challenges and communication breakdown among families, friends and in workplaces:
1. Lack of knowledge and skills (ignorance)
Understanding of mental health difficulties
can be very misinformed. People sometimes find it hard to know what to say and
do when they hear someone has a mental health difficulty, and can worry in
particular about “saying the wrong thing”.
2. Negative attitudes (prejudice)
Many people are afraid of mental health difficulty. This can
motivate them to avoid people who share mental health difficulties, look down
and away when the subject comes up or say awkward and sometimes unkind things
about the competence of people with mental health concerns (perhaps not even
realising that the people they’re speaking to might be suffering these concerns
and not disclosing them!).
People diagnosed with mental health conditions may also fear
rejection and discrimination and avoid situations where they fear this might be
an issue, reducing opportunities to change attitudes.
3. Hostile behaviour (discrimination)
Not all people respond kindly or with compassion to people
who experience mental health difficulty. Sometimes people find they lose
important roles or meet with ignorance and fear when they disclose their mental
distress or behave in ways outside of the norm, even for a short time.
Sometimes discriminatory behaviour can be less intentional, such as when well-meaning employers insist on people taking time off at times their healthcare providers recognise it would be more helpful for them to stay in work. This can happen even when there is no good reason to believe that their current work behaviour is likely to be that different to others around them.
Sometimes discriminatory behaviour can be less intentional, such as when well-meaning employers insist on people taking time off at times their healthcare providers recognise it would be more helpful for them to stay in work. This can happen even when there is no good reason to believe that their current work behaviour is likely to be that different to others around them.
When negative interactions around mental health arise at
work, in school or in college, there can be negative impacts on all aspects of
a person’s life.
Understandably, such experiences can also impact negatively on their recovery
and reduce willingness to seek help early, meaning they may miss more work than
they need to if they encounter challenges again.
Changing the
Conversation
People, in general, want to be decent humans beings and
treat those around them respectfully. Not too many people hope to hear at their retirement party that they were the absolute best in their
company at stigmatising colleague’s struggles or renowned for their skills in social
exclusion and discrimination!
Still, sometimes we all struggle with knowing how to approach sensitive situations, especially in the workplace. Whether you are someone with an identified mental health condition or working with someone who has (now or in the past), here are some thoughts and tips which can help you combat mental health stigma in your workplace community:
Still, sometimes we all struggle with knowing how to approach sensitive situations, especially in the workplace. Whether you are someone with an identified mental health condition or working with someone who has (now or in the past), here are some thoughts and tips which can help you combat mental health stigma in your workplace community:
Being honest with yourself about the biases you have is a
great place to start. All humans are biased, no two ways about it. While it’s
important to notice our biases, it’s equally important not to get caught in
shame or self-criticism about them in ways that make communication harder.
When it comes to mental health difficulty, we can all
recognise our human tendency to think people are how they are acting. If
we see someone acting moody, speaking negatively or doing things we can’t understand
or that scares us, we tend to think this reflects on them as a person, rather than looking the broader context and considering
we don’t fully know and understand the reasons for their behaviour in that moment.
When we bring some awareness to the negative stories we hold
about mental health difficulty and how it impacts us and others in the workplace, it can help us
make a clearer assessment of someone’s actions and allow us to consider if we
are really judging them fairly or if our vision is clouded by other factors.
2.
Slow down
and Take Perspective
Slowing down when we feel stressed about a situation
with a colleague can be helpful.
Whether you are a person experiencing difficulty or meeting with a colleague with mental health concerns, it can be helpful to pause, step back and take a broader perspective, committing to behaving in a way you
could be proud of if it was videotaped and replayed to you at a later time.
If you were your
colleague and they were you, what would you most want to hear from them right
now? What do you need to say in this moment so that they know what you
need from them in the workplace so that you can all get on with doing the work
that needs to be done? If they were to speak about this conversation to someone
else later, what would you hope they might say about how well the conversation went, and its outcome? How can what
you say and do now lead to the most positive outcome? Most of us like to be seen as being helpful, kind and contributory to our colleagues, and would hope they would behave in similar ways to us if we were experiencing struggles of any kind.
3. You don’t have to be an OWL but it helps...
Paul Grice, a British philosopher of language interested in
meaning, worked out when conversations work, speaker and listener follow a co-operative principle. This means all of us, in all of our conversations, aim to
balance turns, say what we believe to be true, avoid saying what
we don't believe to be true, say the right amount, avoid jargon
and offer clearly expressed, meaningful and relevant
contributions.
In other words, we usually try our best to have
a successful conversation that satisfies the needs of speaker
and listener.
This sounds like a lot of rules, but the truth is, we do most of this by default, because we've had a lot of experience with many of the conversations we have on a day to day basis.
When we're talking about something new or uncomfortable, rules can be less helpful and can make us insensitive to what's actually happening there and then.
At these times, it can be more helpful to really tune in and track how the conversation is going moment to moment. This OWL acronym offers some tips and how to do it:
Open up and Observe:
- Open up to what the other person is saying, and how it lands with you.
- Observe your own reactions – in your own body and mind, and in what you say and do.
- Observe the other person and how they are speaking and listening, too
Watch for your Wisdom
- Giving your whole attention to the conversation and really noticing the other person in the moment can bring up surprising responses in you, and in the conversation.
- Sometimes, we treat conversations about the difficulties we or others are experiencing as threats, problems or challenges that must be solved RIGHT NOW. When we can step back a little and let go of needing to reach a specific outcome in that conversation, sometimes the wise parts of ourselves find just the right thing to say in any given moment.
Listen and Lean In
- A lot of communication breakdowns happen when we’re rushed, our minds are on other things or we misinterpret what the other person is thinking or feeling, often because we have a fixed idea about what it is they mean based on our own experience or understanding of the situation.
- Listening, especially to someone speaking about something you don’t understand, includes asking open and curious, warm questions about things that don’t make sense to you in the other person’s speech.
- Leaning in to any discomfort around asking questions can really avoid confusion and help you both make better sense of what’s what. If in doubt, you can always start with a simple “how are you?”, "tell me more" or "what's that like for you?".
3.
Feel the
JOY of uncertainty!
Social situations we haven’t encountered before can feel
awkward and challenging, uncertain and unsure.
We don’t know how it’s going to go. This is true for everyone in every
conversation, whether we have our own experience of mental health challenges or
not. The good news is when we can open up, be present and do what matters, it can be a great opportunity for growth and learning.
Jon Hershfield and Shala Nicely are psychologists with a
nifty little acronym for situations where we are nervous or unsure and don’t
quite know how to approach what we’re doing: JOY. This is based on psychology’s
most robust research-based findings: by doing the things we find uncomfortable
or scary, we toughen up and get better at doing them in ways that serve us well
in similar situations in the future.
Jump In
If you’re human, you’ve felt anxiety and threat. Whether you like it or not, it’s your brain’s
way of helping you out by indicating to you this situation is new or different
in some way. It’s not a problem, but often it can feel like one. If we get
caught up in struggling with it or pushing it away, it can use up a lot of
mental energy. When we can do the opposite of what our tricky, threatened brains
ask us to do and open up to feelings of discomfort like anxiety, it’s a lot easier to work out what to do next – and do it!
Opt for the Greater
Good
Freed of all that tension that comes from worrying about
what should and shouldn’t do or say, you can focus on what you really want to
get out of a situation, and behave in ways you can be proud of. What’s your
purpose right here, right now? How can your efforts improve the life or experience
of the person you are speaking to, who may be feeling just as uncertain or
unsure as you are in this moment? What kind of colleague do you want to be? How
do your actions here dovetail with what way you hope others see you as being in
the world?
Yield to Uncertainty
Sure, you may not know what to say or do in this situation –
that’s how learning works – but slowing down and committing to “fake it until
you make it” can be a real help. Recognising that you already spend most of the
day not really knowing what’s coming next, and usually manage this pretty well,
can also be a help. The more we recognise that life is uncertain and can feel
uncomfortable, the better able we are at developing skills in
dealing with difficulty. Give it a go! You might even find it brings you joy...
Resources:
Conversations about mental health don't have to be complicated. Watching people having ordinary conversations about mental health can be a real help in reminding us that people are people, and anyone can experience mental distress. The UK Heads Together Campaign has many video clips of friends, families and colleagues talking about mental health.
In crisis situations where someone is or might be in danger, it can be helpful to have specific skills to address and respond quickly and effectively to urgent needs. Mental Health First Aid Training can be a great help.
To read more about Jon Hershfield and Shala Nicely's work, check out their recent book
Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully
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